The List #5 Tonight's Highlights

1. I admitted an OB-gyne patient and messed up a couple of times. I, for the love of God, even spilled the urine sample (it leaked out of the sealed bottle) all over the specimen bag. Ugh. How can I be more stupid? Tell me. Then when I called the Labor Ward to ask them to get another sample, the resident doctor had to be the one to answer the phone while I, without a pause, asked for the sample, not even recognizing the doctor's voice. Very nice. Surprisingly, though, she remained nice and calm. I would dismiss her gesture as plain, innocent, genuine kindness. :)
2. Another code blue. This time I had the chance to be inside. I wanted to stay and observe what takes place during a code blue because I never had the chance with patients before. Kind of nerve-wracking, really. Even the announcement over the PA system sounds creepy. I didn't want to stay there and do nothing, unless I wanted to be shouted at by the resuscitation team, so I tried to do the simplest things. Until one of my senior charge nurses called me to attend to this patient for nebulization. Thank you very much for ruining this learning moment. Haha.
3. On a happy note, three women came inside the observation room for BP check. I almost ignored them. But because of the kind soul that I am (haha!), I obliged and checked the BPs of the two older women. Imagine my (our) shock when upon finishing the procedure, the younger one placed a generous amount of bill on my hand and my co-nurse's. She even gave the same amount to the cleaner, who happened to clean the ER floors that very moment. Talk about luck. And I must say, that was a very generous amount indeed for a BP check. I so wish all patients are like that. :)
4. I gave sponge bath to a male, 30-ish patient today. Extra, extra hardwork. The patient had a 39-degree fever. The doctor (who happens to be the medical director of our department) gave me a quota/ultimatum: the patient's temperature must be at 37.5 degrees after the sponge bath. I had to do the whole thing for almost an hour. Good thing my co-nurses are the best. They helped and supported me all through out, even comforting me by saying that the doctor is just challenging me to see what I can do. I love them.
5. Why are there motorcycles in the city? Why? Why? Why? When did this happen? Is it not enough that the Kingdom has the highest road accident death toll in the world now they have to add another risk through these motorcycles? God, these people.
6. I am sleepy. Tomorrow's the last day of the week. Happiness. Energy. Go!

Guiltless Happiness

What is it with growing up that's scary?

Last night, we passed by the area where we first lived in this city. I didn't want to reminisce because I was dead tired, I just wanted to sleep in the car. But when we finally passed by the supermarket near our flat nine years ago, I can't help but remember the time when all things were simple and easy. The six of us (Omie, Bapa, and the four kids) would wait for the sun to set to avoid the heat. Then we would prepare for the walk to the supermarket. I remember being really excited for these trips. The four of us, kids, would enjoy those walks. That supermarket was small, but we would enjoy ogling at the isle stands and all the pretty products lined on each of them. We would go home, feeling very satisfied, for we have in our hands a little something to take home. And for that, we were the happiest kids in the world.

I was barely thirteen. There was freedom and guiltless happiness then. Literally, no worries. If I knew that those kinds of days will never repeat itself again, I would've risked the future and gambled with it to slow down the time so I could glide through them and breathe them in, so they never leave me, so they remain in my system forever.

Time makes us grow old. And sadly, there are moments when you wish you could just throw it all away, all the things you worked hard for for years, along with all the resentment, regrets, and guilt that time has thrown at you; in exchange for something as intangible as a guiltless happiness.

Seven Minutes To Doomland

Why do I like this photo so much?
Disturbing.

Photo from here.

Failures and Sunrises

When does it become easy?
When does one begin to heal?

From a failure
From a heartbreak
From a fall down
From a hope
That left the heart

Is it a decision one makes?
Does one wake up
To find the soul renewed?
Or is it a long process
That will make the soul tired
And weary and numb?

Does one get on with life
As if nothing has taken place?
Does one deal with it alone
And avoid the risk of being exposed?
Or does it have to be shared
So the pain becomes a little less?

And finally,
How does one face the struggle?
Does one look it in the eye
And scream at it with anger?
Does one take on indifference?
Or talk to it and beg for it to go away?

But no one, no one knows
How to deal with a failure
No one knows how to mend
And I wonder because
The heart knows how to piece
one's world together
But it doesn't know how to
Mend itself when it gets broken.

Order of the Universe

"Anyone who is forced from their own course,
either through not understanding themselves,
or through external imposition, comes into conflict with
the order of the universe, and suffers accordingly."

-- Aleister Crowley

For the first time after almost two months, I cleaned the kitchen. I only concentrated on one part, though: The Sink. I won't lie. Of course it took hours of self-prodding and pondering on my part. I didn't want to. I feel like I'm really tired every time I come home, my bed is the only thing that deserves what little energy left in my body. But it was a sacrifice I had to make. It was something I needed to do to clear my mind a little. Things like cleaning the kitchen help me think and kind of talk to myself.

So I did. Think. And talked to myself. Kind of. Read: I don't go around and speak loudly to myself, okay? Let me get that straight.

Anyhoo, I won't be talking about the things I told My Mind since that would be too personal. So I am here to talk about kitchens. I realized only recently that the loveliest part of a home is the kitchen. It's where the food that goes into the stomach that gives the energy to go on with life actually is produced. So I love the kitchen. If you follow me on Twitter, you can see some of my tweets about kitchen cleaning. I like cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing its floors, wiping spots on the ref, removing oil stains on the stove. It's a lovely process that yields lovely results. I like seeing the kitchen in its pristine form. And someday I will have a beautiful kitchen with nice, stark white cupboards and clean wood. And I will not forget: lovely set of utensils, and plates and glasses. It would be heavenly. It would be a Heaven Kitchen. It would most likely look like this, but even more beautiful:

Photo from Google.

I will see to it that you are updated about this Kitchen Adventure of mine, okay? For now I will satisfy myself with photos of kitchen from kitchens.com.

What A Woman Should Know

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a youth she's content to leave behind.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill,
and a black lace bra.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh
and one who lets her cry.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, breakup with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder and when to walkaway.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect but it's over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone even if she doesn't like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go, be it to her best friend's kitchen table
or a charming inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year."

-- Pamela Redmon Satran

WORK IS NOT JOB

The culmination of my first month at work happened through this:

The acceptance of a medium-sized envelope with some hard-earned stash placed carefully inside. I wanted to take the envelope home and tuck it inside the folder where I place all my valuable documents. On a sad note, though, they told me you're not supposed to take envelopes like that at home. It could've been a great addition to my Folder of Accomplishments and Almost-Accomplishments.

I want to say so many other things. But I've decided against it. Sometimes I lose the ability to tell stories about my life in simple terms. That happens to all of us, I guess. Or does it?

Top Two Things That Got Me Watching The News

I like watching the news. I like listening to people on TV rant about current events. Even though I don't retain everything on my mind because, er, I'm no Lexie Grey (Grey's Anatomy fans will know about this), I like pondering about current issues and then discussing them over with my family members. And because nowadays, the most prevalent issue being shown on Philippine local news is politics (which, by the way, don't appeal to me), I got amazed at these two:

1. The Guatemala Sinkhole. When I saw this, I was all: Is this Photoshop-ped or something? A 200 meter deep hole appearing just like that in the middle of a city? Come on. This is one shocking way to let us all know how powerful nature can be.

Photos from Yahoo News.

2. The Balloon Man! This is really amazing. And given he landed safely back on earth, I must say he is one hell of a lucky guy. So reminiscent of one of the most touching movies last year, Up. I never thought it could happen in real life!

With 100 helium balloons attached to a lawn chair, he took off from Bend, Ore and landed safely to Union, Ore, travelling nearly 200 miles at 13,000 feet.

I got the photos from Google and you can read more here.