Guiltless Happiness

What is it with growing up that's scary?

Last night, we passed by the area where we first lived in this city. I didn't want to reminisce because I was dead tired, I just wanted to sleep in the car. But when we finally passed by the supermarket near our flat nine years ago, I can't help but remember the time when all things were simple and easy. The six of us (Omie, Bapa, and the four kids) would wait for the sun to set to avoid the heat. Then we would prepare for the walk to the supermarket. I remember being really excited for these trips. The four of us, kids, would enjoy those walks. That supermarket was small, but we would enjoy ogling at the isle stands and all the pretty products lined on each of them. We would go home, feeling very satisfied, for we have in our hands a little something to take home. And for that, we were the happiest kids in the world.

I was barely thirteen. There was freedom and guiltless happiness then. Literally, no worries. If I knew that those kinds of days will never repeat itself again, I would've risked the future and gambled with it to slow down the time so I could glide through them and breathe them in, so they never leave me, so they remain in my system forever.

Time makes us grow old. And sadly, there are moments when you wish you could just throw it all away, all the things you worked hard for for years, along with all the resentment, regrets, and guilt that time has thrown at you; in exchange for something as intangible as a guiltless happiness.