When I turned twenty, some two or so years ago (oh crap, two years?), I started getting scared of the fact that I'll never be seventeen again. Think about it. It will all be just a lingering memory. I feared being time warped into a place named Adulthood, where Adolescence doesn't exist. And Adolescence, as I'm sure everyone knows (or knew), is a place of discovering things, of jaw-dropping and brand new experiences, of falling in love (...with life), of committing mistakes, of bus rides to freedom (the name of my old blog!).
I always hear people say that one of the best times to grow up in was during 60s-80s. It was in that era that the youth started to wake up from their slumber, go out to the streets, and collectively participate in the betterment of a country under siege. During that time, the youth had a say, had a power and an understanding of it. And they were able to use it. It was also during those years that the youth started discovering so many things. Music is just one example. The youth watched TV, rocked at band gigs, went out to catch a movie, and fought (literally) over Guy-and-Pip and Bobot-and-Vi.
Although it was also the time where bad habits started appearing (e.g. drugs, alcohol, smoking), I bet the youth then had the time of their lives. Everything was spankin' new. Wala pang laos, except maybe for the archaic traits of the ancient times. Imagine, even the colloquial words were new. How awesome was that?
With this in mind, I started looking into my youth. I'm about to turn twenty-three and boy, am I scared to lose it. Well, of course I'm going to lose it eventually, but what if I lose it without being able to really suck the marrow of it? What if, when I grow old and children asked me what I did as a teenager, all I'd be able to say is, Yeah, I went to school? Now don't get me wrong, going to school is the epitome of the goodness that is youth. But really? That is all I'd be able to say? How about, Oh, one time we rode a bus at 12AM for an hour-long trip because we watched a movie in the city? How about I add, And there were only six of us and everyone in the bus was staring and maybe thinking what in the world are these children doing in an ungodly hour?
But if you think about it, not minding my thing for buses, that thing happened. We did ride a bus and traveled at an ungodly hour just to catch a movie. So I guess I'm not so bad after all. And maybe the very reason I'm so scared of letting it all go is because I had the time of my life. I had fun. I messed up a couple of times (not just a couple, really). But I don't regret it. I got out of it alive. And it proved to me that owning up to something, being responsible is what comes out of an experience. Well, it doesn't apply to everything, but most of the time it does.
Oh, youth. As some of my college friends would say, We can't move on. But we need to. It may cause pain, some bruises, here and there. But I'm hoping it will be worth it, just like being young and free, it caused a lot of bruises, but it was worth it.
Well, time to say goodbye and say hello to Adulthood. Here we are now, you can eat us alive. But in the words of the fierce, Bring it on, bitch.
