MESSED IT ALL UP

Do you ever wonder how it feels to be completely free from everything -- from the loudness of the world outside, from the heat of the scorching sun, from the height of the mountain that they say you need to climb, from the world that you've spent your whole life into, from people? How does it feel to be so close to freedom that it's as if the sky is a breath away from where you are? And yet the breath that will take you to actually touch that freedom means an entire lifetime you have to give up? Where were you when they opened the doors to freedom? Were you busy summing up the means to get away that you missed that single chance they gave to all those who were jailed inside their own lives?

How does it feel for those who are literally behind bars? One single act of deviation from sanity and there they are, wanting so bad to turn back the hands of that clock back to that single moment where they lost their rightful judgment.

You look at your own world and you wonder how you got here. Haven't you known? You don't need to mess up to prove your worth. Because at the end of the day, nobody even cares enough to tell you that you did the right thing. At the end of the day, you are the one responsible for saving yourself. Nobody else will set you free from the expectations embedded to you by other people's criticisms and commands of what you clearly cannot do. When it all boils down to nothing, your last redeemer will be yourself.

You wish you could just runaway and leave. If you only you had enough courage not to love.